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Marriage Matters 💕

And I think that’s what God really intends marriage for. Putting together 2 good parts to become a better whole. Contrary to what the world tells, marriage does not make you complete. If you marry with that thought in mind, you are really bound for disappointment.

Say it again. Marriage matters. One more time. Marriage matters. Another? Well, I could repeat these 2 words a number of times and each repeat, they seem to just change meaning. 2 words that is good apart but when put together is so much better. And I think that’s what God really intends marriage for. Putting together 2 good parts to become a better whole. Contrary to what the world tells, marriage does not make you complete. If you marry with that thought in mind, you are really bound for disappointment.
Tonight’s topic on our monthly Fusion ministry was Marriage Matters. I was very excited for it as it’s a live Facebook event. I was praying that hopefully my married friends would tune in. Being in a couples ministry has helped us a lot. Part of the courage to leave and cleave was from the support that we have from our life group and the learning every meetup. Every time the topic of leave and cleave is brought up before, there’s just heaviness in my heart but God was very patient with us. And for me, it’s not a coincidence that more blessings were showered upon us now that we are finally on our own. It’s just how it is. Blessings come after obedience because it is God’s promise and He never breaks His word.

Despite my excitement, I lost track of time arranging the groceries. It was supposed to be Lanie’s task but since she got busy on a call catching up with her family, I didn’t disturb her. It was actually a good decision as I had the time to check on the supplies and implement a change in how we store the meat. I could have easily missed the ministry but for some reason, I remembered checking the time. It’s not random. I’m sure it’s God reminding me.

CITICHURCH Young Couples – July 18, 2020
Your marriage matters! Invest in it and discover how God can use you to make an impact around you.

As I tuned in mid-way already, I was only able to catch-up the last 2-3 questions but because of the comments, I had a glimpsed of what was previously talked about. For some reason, I was pumped up to share my thoughts. I hesitated at first because I was late but God’s voice was stronger. I had to chimed in. So thankful that I did.

Leave and Cleave

Per Pastor Jo’s chat comment “Any couple that won’t leave & cleave shouldn’t get married yet.” Leave and cleave was once a sore spot. So happy that we decided to finally do it last March 1, 2020. We are on our 4th month of living on our own and it’s so true. Leaving and cleaving just opens up a whole new game in marriage. So thankful to be experiencing it now.

Leaving and cleaving must be the first step in marriage. As stated in Genesis 2:24, “Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh. There’s a lot of reasons stated why this should be done but as for me, I was really lucky to have a Godsend mother in law. I couldn’t blame the husband for wanting to stay besides we were the only family member left in PH then. But God being God, He saw through our desires and prayer. He aligned everything that the only thing left for us is to step into His plan. The husband’s sister left her job abroad and stayed in PH as she waited for her next step. It took us a while to see the opportunity.

It wasn’t an easy transition too. Reading back the post that I’ve written about it warms my heart to be reminded of how instrumental my life groups were during the hard process. Wives life group reminded me to be patient to the husband like the way he was patient with me with all my flaws. They even reminded me how lucky I am to have him as a husband. Coming from them, it means a lot as I know each of their stories deeply. Our couple’s life group saved us from an all out silent treatment. We were about to go into an all out war but because it was our scheduled life group session, we were saved. I was able to say what I feel during our regular monthly testimonies. Their understanding and counsels helped us get through it. I think that’s what I love about being surrounded with Godly people, you get Godly counsels. And I’m thankful to God for giving us this blessing to be in a life group considering the husband’s heart.

Ministry Made Us Stronger

One of the key takeaways from tonight was from Pastor JP & Cielo’s story. They are one of the couple’s that I admire in church. Being with them since I first joined Citichurch back in overflow really helped me with my spiritual walk so when they announced that they would lead the young couples ministry, I was excited but at the back of my mind was the thought that I’d probably just be missing it as the husband was so against it at the time.

But God being God, He made it happen when despite my doubts on submitting to a reluctant leader, I did submit to the husband. Miracles upon miracles happen when I started focusing on God. Before my Christian walk, I know I am God’s favorite but now that I am, I realized that there’s a state better than being His favorite and that’s where I am now.

Before I always believe in the power of my grit, now I believe in the power of my prayers more because in prayer, that’s when I communicate to God. Many of our friends may find it weird where we are but I leave it all to God to make them see. At the end of the day, I’m just a messenger.

As much as I want to involve myself in ministry more, I know it’s not my call. While waiting, just like how I waited for Unyara and for the husband to agree in joining the couple’s ministry down to joining a life group, I will build the ministry that I have now – my family. Since living on our own starting March in quarantine, there’s just so many things to be grateful. While I’m sad for the the rest of the world and prays for healing, I’m celebrating because God really does protect His people.

Serving in a ministry as of now is a stone throw for me but just like always, only God knows. I am excited for what the Lord has for us. Because as per Razel Niones comment “We are not in-charge of changing our spouse. Just leave it to God.” And…leaving it to God just always works wonders. Letting go and letting God is the best letting go there is.

God Will Stretch You

It might not be entirely a wrong thing that I was late, in fact it must have been God’s plan all along because I was so alive and enthusiastic to hear Ate Mika’s message. It was super in sync with the post that I just shared this morning.

(1) Going digital and automatic (2) Productivity and life hacks are 2 of my current OC activities. I’m not sure yet if this is because of the increasing roles I have at work or the realizations that I only have 24 hours and somehow it seems that if I don’t work smart, I will miss @unyaraseresa‘s milestones. Motherhood for 21 months now is an absolute best. So amazed how parenting can stretch you to the next level at a time you thought that it would limit you. Continue reading at lifewithkring.wordpress.com!

@kringjuly

 Ate Mika’s word was just empowering. Just so thankful to have heard it. Praying there will be more of the Mommy talks. I’d like to have a Mommy life group too.

 Reflections & Wrap-Up

Today was such an empowering day. I’m so happy my zest to write found me again since last Thursday. I have a new post at our company blog, my personal blog and now here at the relationship blog. Hopefully I can find more time to write and inspire. During this time, we all need a little positivity. Just happy to have done my part. Yay!

Want to have more inspiring marriage matters talk, go watch our live video today or message me to introduce you to our ministry. Actually, you don’t really have to be a Christian. My husband is actually not. We are open to all. 

Praying to see you soon. Cheers!

My Page in His Book

I haven’t been to many relationships. To this day it still makes me “kilig” how each love stories contribute to the person that I am now. Writing about it makes it eternal (Recuerdos de Amor). As we are all in separate lives now, I made sure I didn’t put the name. I wonder if in my old days I can still remember who owns the number. Haha!

For a woman who prayed for a “first love never dies”, I don’t actually mind that I married “the one great love” or the number 3 in “Recuerdos de Amor”.

After watching “Adulting with Chiz Episode 4” makes me reflective on past relationships. Noticing how candid Heart and Chiz mentioned their past relationships makes me thankful I have a man who does the same.

While continuing the marie kondo of my google drive, I chance upon a google doc titled “My Page in His Book”. I want to label my past relationship with the more common labels like TOTGA but to this day I still haven’t gotten to it yet. Right now, I only have the “puppy love”, the “first love that surely dies” and the “one great love”. In time I will. And since the writer of “My Page in His Book” is still unlabeled, I will call him by his number on “Recuerdos de Amor” 3.1.

It was one of my dream for someone to write about me. 3.1 made it come true. I kept the writeups in my google doc in time for the “moody” days. Though I’m not moody now, it does makes me feel better to remember the “kilig” days.

The Years in Between (3/7)

Being big on celebrations, I’m sure the wife has kept a record of how our 10th and 11th anniversary were celebrated. If not here then it must have been with all her other blogs.

Aren’t we all like Lego blocks?

Latest recorded anniversary here was our 9th back in June 21, 2017. It’s amazing how God molded us from that time to this time. 3 days from now, we will celebrate our 12th year together. It’s amazing how the years went by but we still feel like new lovers, madly, deeply and annoyingly inlove with each other despite the extra pounds, warts and the non-physical changes.

Time lapsed in blog posts!

A whole lot of happenings from June 21, 2017 to this coming June 21, 2020. If you visit the wife’s personal blog, you can read the juicy details but as for the highlights of the passing 3 years, read on. And…if you are feeling awesome and want to walk on memory beyond 2017 and get to the date where this awesome “accidentally in love” began, read our 9th anniversary post.

2017 to 2020 highlights:

2017 was our gap and rest year of travels. We focused on things that will ready as for “Unyara Seresa”. Back then, “Unyara” was just a name. We prayed and dreamed for her but mostly just waited for God to do His thing. Unyara didn’t arrive in 2017 like we prayed and hoped for.

The wife left her 2nd company after working for 6 years+. She left on her birth month which made it more meaningful and tear-jerking. It was literally a whole month of goodbyes. And as she has settled in her new job by December 2017, the husband found the courage to leave his job and pursue his plan to reunite with his software development skills.

By 2018, blessed by our jobs, we were ready to start something new or rekindle what we decided to put out to make way for the baby goal. Unbeknownst to us, God was actually cooking something in the background. We welcomed 2018 with fresh perspective and adjustments for our new jobs. No resolutions were made but the baby goal was put back in the closet even with the wife’s miraculous return of menstruation on January 6, 2018 after 5-6 months of missing them. 9 months after, “Unyara Seresa” was born. Our ticket to Siargao to celebrate our 10th anniversary was refunded. We were ready to let it go as it was a promo fare but lo and behold, since there was a schedule change, we were allowed to refund instead. Yay! We celebrated our June 21, 2018 10th anniversary in Asturias, Cebu with “Unyara” in tummy.

The wife is fond with dates that thinking about the timings of Unyara’s arrival is just awesome. God has really been listening to her prayers and reading her timelines. Lol She has always dreamed to have a baby at 32.

Unyara was born at a perfect time in 2018. We wanted her in 2017 but God knows best indeed. She is born on a year that satisfies the wife’s OCness on dates. God opened the chapter of parenthood on our 10th anniversary and ever since that time on, our lives has never been the same.

So 2019 was basically the year of fulfilled dreams and prayers. We couldn’t ask for more. Unyara is a proof of God’s promise. The highlight of 2019 was her. We opened 2019 with her baptism and celebrated her 1st birthday with her dedication. And as the wife is big on parties, her 1st birthday was a blast.

2020 was the year of turning point. Realizing that this is the year that we would celebrate our 5th wedding anniversary, we decided that it’s time to leave and cleave. We were very blessed to be supported by the husband’s family letting us live in his parent’s home so we are able to rent out and have extra income from our condo. We didn’t really know that Covid will happen in 2020 and that the Airbnb market would collapsed but based on the happenings now, it’s just amazing how God arranges things for us.

Covid is bad but we are very blessed by it. Thinking how our plans were executed just in time before all of it was overwhelming. We were able to attend tbe husband’s bestfriend’s wedding on March 3 in Davao and is safely settled from our leave and cleave activities before the March 16 quarantine was implemented.

Our goal was to celebrate our 5th wedding anniversary in our own home but God being God would always give a little extra. Is there anything more awesome than having to enjoy the first few months in your own home than just being home? Haha! We celebrated our 5th wedding anniversary on March 28 in quarantine. 3 days from now, we will celebrate our 12th anniversary as Migo&Miga the same way unless a miracle will happen in 3 days.

From the start, our relationship was always built upon seeing and interacting with each other everyday but I never thought that being in quarantine together is more awesome. Haha! Thank you Lord for everything!!! You are just awesomeeeeee!

SOCIAL Connection, Physical DISTANCING

If we focus on the good, there’s really a lot that COVID has blessed us with. Aside from making the wives step up into a whole new level of chef-ing in the house (to be talked about on the next blog hopefully), for the husband and I, it means connecting more to the people who wants to connect with us.

Late last year we made a decision to join a couple’s life group. It was a God ordained decision as the husband is not really the type who understands the benefit of surrounding us with people who would help us in our marriage growth. Just so thankful that we had our first life group meetup on the last Sunday of January. The first session was the hardest but it got better with every meetup.

1st life group session at Bigby’s IT Park!

Leave and Cleave

During our 1st meeting with the life group, we opened the plan and ask for prayers as we know that it would be a big step for us. True enough, on our 2nd meetup with our life group, the husband and I was not in our best self as we were having disagreements about it. And maybe, if we didn’t ask for prior prayers, the 2nd meetup wouldn’t have been as productive. Despite the disagreements, we decided to attend. It was maybe the best decision ever as our life group has really helped us understand things that we wouldn’t have been able to talk through if it’s just us.

2nd life group session at Bicester Cafe in Mahogany Place.

After the 2nd meetup, our dynamics as husband and wife was re-kindled enabling us to join the 2nd anniversary of Fusion ministry. In a post at my personal blog for the wrap-up of Unyara’s 1st trimester, I have talked about Fusion ministry’s connection with Unyara. Being with the ministry is really God’s way of letting us know we are His beloved. We are so blessed to be a surrounded with awesome couples.

Fusion’s 2nd Anniversary in Casa Rosita Banawa

Life Group In The Time of COVID

After the 2nd life group session, we are very much set in our leave and cleave plans. By March 5, after our return from a trip to Davao, we were fully settled in the condo just days before the quarantine. Whenever I thought about how timely our plans were, I just praise God for His awesomeness in our life.

Last week, April 12, we had our first Zoom meetup with the life group. For the 1st time ever, the husband has a lot to talk about on our victories of the passing months. Our hearts goes out to those people who are badly affected by COVID but on my end, I don’t mind if this continues. I have done stress-ing on the things that I can’t control and honestly, our life was awesome before COVID but now, it’s just getting more and more awesome.

3rd life group session and a 1st over Zoom! We are finally complete! Yohooo!

20200412 Fusion LG 02
With Unyara!

Social distancing can be lonely and boring if you choose it to be but for our life group, we believe that we can be more SOCIALly connected despite the physical DISTANCING. I thank God for leading us to this community. 🙂

Fusion Ministry in the time of COVID

Just like our life group, the rest of Citichurch ministries has made an extra effort to care for us online. Last March, Ate Cielo and Kuya JP had an FB live. For this month’s session, we did it over GoTo Meeting. There were 40 couples who joined and were blessed by the topic. See below an excerpt of the discussion.

TOPIC: 5 communication skills every couple should develop | Conflicts

1. Find a good time to talk CALMLY about some issues

-Money date

2. Understand and communicate your spouse’s perspective

-Separate your spouse from the issue

3. Being mindful of your language and tone

-Even if you are right but because your tone is wrong, you become wrong.
-Avoid labelling

4. Think of what you can give, not what you can take.

-When we are kind, we are sending a caring message to our partner. And if we feel we are cared for, we can operate from a point of generosity and love. ❤

-You can give without loving but you can never love without giving. ❤

5. Notice and say out loud what you APPRECIATE about your spouse.

20200418 Fusion 3
25 of the 40 couple in attendance.

Whoever and wherever you are, may this story of connection despite the distance make you reach out to your own community as well. Isolation can only happen if we choose to be. We are in constant prayer that we can go back to our normal lives but while we are in it, let’s see the goodness in it. Have a blessed Sunday!

Separation Anxiety is Real!

Today for the first time in years, we’ll be away from each other. As I’m typing this, the husband is on his way to a place I’ve never been. I’m excited and anxious for him. Yesterday, when he went home after an aberration at the immigration, I was sad but somehow happy because we didn’t really get to have a proper sendoff. We were both busy getting to work on time. Today was different. As it was holiday, I requested to work at home. When he left, I was there to bid him goodbye and kiss him a prayer for a safe and good departure.

I’m feeling a little heavy and uninspired right now. I miss him already. When he left this afternoon, I felt like crying but I was too busy to entertain the sadness. Now, I’m still busy but the feels is just too much. I needed to write. I hate this feeling but I know that distance is good for the heart besides he will be only be gone until December 14. I’ll survive even if it means I’ll only have myself to wake up starting tomorrow. Half of December will never be the same without him. T_T

Bon voyage Baby Love! Have fun! 🙂

Today, 9 Years Ago, I Waited For You.

June 21, 2008 was a rainy Saturday due to typhoon Frank and YOU had me wait for 2 hours. I don’t usually wait but looking back at it 9 years after, it was one of those moments that is worth the wait. You are so worth the wait, Migo My Baby Love So Sweet!!! Thank you for always waiting on me too. Everyday, I am amazed at how awesome you are in understanding me. Sorry for all those times that I hurt you. It’s hard to change but know that everyday, I am trying to be better for you. Let’s keep the love burning forever. Excited to celebrate more anniversaries with you. Yay!

Today, Migo and I’s love turn a year older. Cheers to 9 years of fun and a lot more. We already celebrated our anniversary last weekend at BE Resorts, Mactan so today he will just accompany me at Overflow. To celebrate this day my own way, here’s 9 TRIVIA about Migo&Miga or Kring&July:

  1. Kring is July’s 2nd GF while July is Kring’s 3rd.
  2. Today’s date is the date of their first date.
  3. They started as text mates and started texting after a company summer outing in May 2008.
  4. Kring & July were both CIT-U graduates and DOST Scholar.
  5. Kring’s 1st airplane ride was sponsored by July.
  6. Kring is the first girl July introduced to his parents.
  7. July is the first guy Kring pursued (to be explained soon).
  8. They got engaged just days before their 6th anniversary and married 3 months before their 7th anniversary in 2014 and 2015 respectively.
  9. In 2016, they traveled outside the Philippines together for their wedding anniversary and birthdays. They also have their 1st car.

Major Highlights:

  1. In 2011, Kring got into the so-called quarter life crisis and wanted to marry. To occupy her, they focused their energy into traveling, trekking and board gaming.
  2. They bought a condo in 2012 which was very instrumental in keeping them together in 2013.
  3. When they got engaged in 2014, they enrolled M&M Condo in AirBNB and has been hosting guests all over the world since to save money for the wedding and now for added income.
  4. They got married at a whimsical celebration in 2015 in which they DIYed everything.
  5. They celebrated their 1st wedding anniversary in Hongkong and Macau and did a 2-week trip in Indochina by August 2016.

Thanks God For Migo!

On a friend’s comment, I have since stop talking about how awesome my Migo-now-husband is. Yet day by day, even after 2 years of marriage and almost 9 years of being Migo and Miga, everyday I still thank God for him. I just become a Christian last year and didn’t know about God’s best but just thankful God is looking out for me.

Yesterday, we attended a Citichurch event – Couple’s Dinner. The husband was all support in my Christian life but there’s this part of me that want us to do it together. But unlike before, I didn’t want to force him into anything. 

The couple’s dinner yesterday wasn’t really planned. We were supposed to attend the service last Sunday but we had guest last Monday so he opt to clean our condo instead. It was then that I saw the announcement. As if being led, I took a picture and send it to him. Surprisingly, he agreed. I was very excited and kept thanking God for his yes. 

I didn’t know what to expect but I was happy we were seated beside Pastor Jo and Ate Sheilah. They were kind and not at all intimidating. I can sense that Migo’s discomfort subsided after a while.

Dinner Time!

We had fun. The food is yummy and Pastor Jo’s talk titled “Honour” was eye opening. I realized that between us, I was the pasaway. Yet despite that, the husband was honouring me at all times even when I kept on dishonoring him. I have always been blessed to have him but yesterday I felt special. From a spoiled girlfriend, now a spoiled wife. 🙂

20 awesome wives! 🙂

Moving forward, I pray that I will be able to honor and love him as much as he loved me. And that I will soon learn to honor him in everything that I do. Migo is God’s gift and I should treat him well. 

Spot Migo!

I am praying for more Godly activities for us two. But compared before, I will be patient and understand him. Things happen for a reason, and me finding Jesus first is not an exception. It must be God’s way of teaching me patience. 🙂

Adulting 101

Migo and Miga’s foundation is our Wanderfull Life ( Trek. Travel. Play) together. Yes, we could drop it for a more traditional way of life. But do we really have to? 

Maybe in time when God says so but until then we will continue to live the way we always have but this time, we will include God in the center. It’s no longer just us two. 🙂 

Post draft on November 2, 2016 @ TWL  but I think this should be in here:

Something’s happening lately. It could be that my recent FB habit change was brought about by my raging hormones or after years of reading lifehack or  an effect of my journaling. Anyhoo, it is such a goooooooooodddd upgrade but not without glitches. The changes now gave me more time to be mindful of everything. Nowadays, everything ticks me especially Migo’s selective “sociable” behavior and other things that I considered minor.

Just this lunch I walked out on him after our baby discussion. Fickle minded me wants to back out of the plan. I just don’t see the point of having it. I want him to persuade me but it seems the decision is entirely up to me. Yeah, I love being the independent woman and not being told of what to do but this time I needed him to make a stand. But he won’t. It’s scary. I am scared. And just thinking that everything is up to me scare me the most. What if I’m wrong. What if I would suck as a mother? I am even sucking as a wife now. There’s just so many things and bottom line, I don’t wanna risk what I have now to an unknown future.

Rewind to last night<<

I told him to disconnect with his new friends. I’ve been annoyed by it since that incident at Otaku Fest 2016 where he was glued to his phone while we were there. He kept on chatting. I wanted to enjoy but how can I when all my pics are blurry.  Nowadays he’s always glued to his phone doing Pokemon Go, FB or God knows what.

I actually love his change especially while we were traveling but right now, it feels too much. And there’s that issue on religion too. Everything just feels wrong for me and he’s just chilling and going on with his life. I need him more than ever but everything is just not the same.

This Moment

I was sad to have lashed out at him but nothing’s gonna change. I won’t back down. At this crucial stage of our life, we ought to have the best of influences. Yet unfortunately, most of our circles are singles who are more concerned of having fun. There’s nothing wrong with fun but I seriously think we need to focus on better things now.

Draft ends here…continued today January 29, 2017 (almost 3 months after November 2, 2016)

So how are we now after some glitches in November?

God happens. Everything change when I wholeheartedly put everything to God. I have always prayed but now I prayed more than I ever have since I was born. 

I don’t just pray when I wake up or when I sleep, every moment when I feel the need to, I talk to Him. Leaning on His wisdom and advise. 

One by one all the issues were gone. I let go and let God. Trusting in Him and trying my very best to be the best wife that He wanted me to be. 

The baby project is not forgotten but it was just unfair for me to put everything on hold. It was even wrong to put all the burden of the decision to have  a child on my husband. The baby is ours but it’s not entirely up to us. God should have been our first consideration. It was prideful of me to decide and push everything on my own. Now I’ve learned my lesson.

Thankful that God taught me the lesson in His most sweet way…no heartaches and physical pain. He taught me the lesson via a battle within. It was a torment to my soul and to the beliefs I hold dear that kept my brokenness together.

God happens. Yes He does. Now, we are doing our best to just live the life that we once had. But unlike before where I always pushed to be somewhere, I enjoy the down times too. I look forward to just staying at home on the weekends as much as experiencing the wanders.

Migo and Miga’s foundation is our Wanderfull Life ( Trek. Travel. Play) together. Yes, we could drop it for a more traditional way of life. But do we really have to? 

Maybe in time when God says so but until then we will continue to live the way we always have but this time, we will include God in the center. It’s no longer just us two. 🙂 

#GodBasedMarriages #GodCenteredUnions

Taken from our first trek in 2017 in Bocaue Peak. The husband was just very excited for this. Thankful that God made it amazingly the BEST DAY HIKE EVER!!!

Brought Violi (violet banana bed) and Octi (the octopus kite). Violi met a friend in Vik’s banana bed. Weeee! Super chill to just lounge in the banana beds at the peak admiring the city view. Just the best ever!!! And ohhh, we even brought our karaoke mic too. Haha

A Love That Comforts

This week has been an emotional struggle. Everything just ticks me off. I’m normally sensitive but everyday this week I’m ultra sensitive. There is a negative energy that is pulling me down.

For the passing months, I was contented with not having a luncheon date with the husband but this week, I draw energy from his presence and counsel. I can act high and mighty to others but with him, I am just a big baby.

I love that he can whip and pull me back from my other self. No matter what I’m feeling, he seems to just know how to say the right words. It is quite painful at times but in the end, I would realize that only he has this power over me.

A love that comforts is not all that comforting at all. For someone who had to weigh her emotions alone most of her childhood, having him is a breath of fresh air. And I know it’s a big responsibility for him so starting now, I aim to at least unburden him by opening to my other gurl friends. It would take time but it is my hope that one day, instead of him supporting me emotionally, I would be there on his emotional breakdown moments.